Duck Duck Cougar?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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