so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
