uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
