Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
