I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
