...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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