I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize