some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
