Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
