I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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