I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
