I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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