He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
