Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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