I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
