I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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