I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
