I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
