Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
