try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
