every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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