how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
