small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
