dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
