I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
