I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize