I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
