i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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