he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
