Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
