Michael Bay diarrhea
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We smell like vodka and hangover
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