Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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