also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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