Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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