He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
