we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
