im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You can't motorboat a personality
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
