Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
