oh god the rape fog is back!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
