The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
