I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize