you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
