that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
