she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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