Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
