And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
