How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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