I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
They are going to name an STD after you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
