There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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