Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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