If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
