So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am spending my child support on dildos
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
