he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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