Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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