i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
