I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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