Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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