There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize