Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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